5 weeks from yesterday and I’ll be freezing my ass off in Iowa while enjoying the unquestionably warm and hopefully unbridled reception (in whatever ways necessary to capture the true spirit of Luther love…specifically meaning copious amounts of American food and naked time…to be rivaled only by the similar experiences which will follow in Colorado in a couple days) from friends and lovers alike. And while I’m definitely looking forward with great anticipation to these future moments of ecstasy, comfort, and long awaited belonging it’s been somewhat difficult lately to figure out if I’m really ready to leave (despite being uncontrollably eager to see all of you and bequeath unto you my verbal diarrhea of cultural insight and ideological reflection…and rather anxious to finish all of my pesky school/project shit), and furthermore identify some of the more perplexing emotions I’m feeling right now about my study abroad experience as a whole. There are some days that I find myself wishing it were all over NOW and that at the snap of a finger I’d find myself back in the States. Only sometimes I’m convinced that what my mind may think it wants now isn’t right for what I actually need…and subconsciously want despite the inconvenience associated with being so far away from friends and loved ones in the first place. And when it’s all over in 5 weeks time and I’m sitting in Megan’s room at Luther, where will my thoughts take me then?, and will what I’m nearly convinced I want more than anything in the world right now be enough when it actually comes to be? There are so many questions that will undoubtedly have to linger unanswered for awhile and in reality may take even longer than I’d like to be answered, but I’m admittedly kind of frustrated at the stagnation…for example, have I taken as much out of this situation and this country as was personally possible?...or, given the amount of time I had at my disposal did I “make the most of it” and do enough “stuff” (whether crazy cool, shitty, culturally difficult and/or interesting to deal with, or just intellectually amusing…etc.,etc.,etc…) worth feeling good about and proud of in the end? And at the same time, will my experiences be significant enough to warrant any kind of respect, praise, admiration, or recognition from those that I’ve left behind? And do I love this place like I thought/hoped I would?…and what the hell am I going to do with my life?…haha, there’s a mystery…It’s hard to fathom how fast these past fourth months (nearly) have gone by and even harder to imagine what I’ll be thinking about in four months time when it’s all said and done and all that’s left are these words, my sporadic memories, and a few pictures…okay so a few hundred pictures but you get the point. And why is it that I’ve reached the point in my college career where I’m partially wishing my study abroad experience were over so that I could go back to the States (of all places…but hey, home is home and I love it…and considerably much more than I realized) and get on with whatever…I just wanna go back to sophomore year! (p.s. not really, although sophomore year did kick ass) Furthermore, it’s hard to find some peace of mind when part of your mind and half of your heart is 12 thousand miles away. I wonder what piece, if any, I’ll leave behind in Tanzania…anywho, there’s a nice pile of mind fuck for you to revel and roll in for awhile. Just some of my thoughts and a fraction of the previously alluded to “craziness” that’s been going on in my head. Additionally, before I forget, please everyone check out Kev’s blog (by clicking the little link to the right) and read the post entitled “Cutting the Cord…Reflection on Reflection” published on Nov. the 2nd. It’s a self reflective piece about the rigors, pitfalls, stimulations, triumphs, and expectations of self reflection as told by a fellow study abroader (and my personal friend), and it should provide some further insight into some of what I’ve been quarreling with in my mind. It honestly spoke volumes for me when I read it and I’m only using it because I know I wouldn’t be able to personally describe its significance any better. So yeah, even if you don’t know Kevin please read and enjoy…and read all his other stuff too (although it may take you ages) if you like, because it’s all really good shit. Sidenotes: for those who have read my previous post I apologize for the “confusing and stupid” numbering system as well as for all the mistakes. I thought it was rather clever, only recognize now that without the ability to insert paragraph breaks (which I’m still working on…although not very vehemently so get over it) it made for quite a mess…although if you’re at all interested in LOST and furthermore even just slightly intelligent you should be able to figure it out…no offense….oh and I fixed the mistakes so read it again because it’s just that damn good. Also (continuing with the sidenotes), I was able to email Megan some random pictures of myself and a few tidbits of Africa yesterday and she’s kindly posted them on shutterfly for me so that you may view them at your discretion. Just click on “boozie-pics” and it should take you right there. There aren’t very many but enough to at least whet your appetites…I hope. But enough with the sidenotes; on with the original point of this post…Selous. I’m sure you were wondering when I was going to get around to talking about the more important topic of the week (being my weekend safari), so have no fear because I’m now prepared to divulge.(*insert paragraph break*) The whole trip was possible because of a sweet deal we (meaning the 8 international students-including myself-representing Germany, Austria, USA, and Finland that made the trip) got from Suzanne’s (German friend of mine who’s from the same University as Arne…The Univ. of Bonn) friend-guy who owns his own safari company and agreed to help us out since we’re students. Okay let’s be honest, she’s sleeping with the guy and he hooked us up hard core because of it. Three days of kick ass safari adventure complete with three cooked meals a day, camping gear, park fees, gasoline, etc., etc. for 170 bucks…which believe me is the best deal other than Heritage Motel’s Indian buffet I’ve gotten in Tanzania. Anyway, Selous Game Reserve is Tanzania’s largest game reserve (and I think possibly the largest in Africa) and is located 330 km south of Dar, although not along the coast. The reserve is home to many types of antelope (impala, dik dik, Thompson gazelle, etc.), giraffes (sweetest animal alive), zebras, elephants, hippos, lions, leopards, water buffalos, hyenas, crocodiles, baboons, white and black colobus monkeys, thousands of crazy-cool birds (like Zazoo from the lion king…only cooler), and millions of creepy yet really cool looking bugs…as well as a ton of other things I’m sure I’m forgetting to mention. The place covers approximately 55 million square kilometers, which, sorry John, is roughly the size of Switzerland, and encompasses a plethora of breathtakingly pristine lakes as well as the Great Rufiji River. We by no means had enough time to cover all of that area (obviously), but more than sufficiently scratched the surface of this beautiful reserve in our fantastic three day safari. I should clarify that Selous, like other ‘reserves’, is special and/or unique in the sense that it’s boundaries are by no means exhaustive or exclusive to the animals’ natural migration patterns. Most of the animals do, however, tend to stay within the designated 55 million sq. km. of government protected land, but are essentially free to do whatever the fuck they want as its there home and they were most likely there first. ‘Reserves’ are different from ‘parks’ in this way because parks’ boundaries are there to prohibit unregulated exit and entry (by either animals or humans), and also because hunting is not allowed in national ‘parks’. Meaning that, unfortunately, really rich and obnoxious foreigners can pay thousands of dollars (try $20,000 for an adult elephant) to kill themselves a real African animal on a “real” African adventure…fucking ridiculous. They pretend to have an authentically cultural experience by flying into Selous via private jet, killing themselves a lion, and then flying back to wherever the fuck they came from and should have indisputably stayed. While the hunting is heavily regulated and controlled in the sense that hunters are only allowed to kill only what is “needed” by population control standards and initiatives and are accompanied at all times by a park ranger and a trained animal specialist, it makes me sick to think that there are actually people who are dense/self-absorbed enough to do that, and are furthermore allowed to…and I really wonder where the hell that money goes, because the average citizen certainly isn’t seeing any of it. Part of me feels like it’s even worse than poaching, which is also a problem that both ‘parks’ and ‘reserves’ alike often have to face…ah, but I digress. Anyway, since the hunting is so heavily regulated it only occurs in one specific portion of the reserve, and we were fortunate enough to be at the opposite end. As compared to my experience in Ngorongoro (which is a park) in July, this trip was so much more rewarding for a few reasons. For one, while I undoubtedly saw many more animals in Ngorongoro I by no means had the same engulfing safari experience…Ngorongoro is in many ways like a really big and glorified zoo, only still natural in the sense that the animals are still in there “natural” environment. We actually had to try and find the animals this time and do our best not to disturb them so as to observe their intense beauty for a few precious seconds (or in the case of the lions, minutes) instead of having to avoid running them over as was the case in Ngorongoro (which was kind of fun too, and especially neat when considering how many animals we actually saw in such a short amount of time, just slightly weird and sorta annoying). Plus, the mzungu traffic is close to non existent in Selous (which is refreshing when the point of your safari is to observe the animals instead of wazungu and you actually get to do so in peace) and riding around all day in a 4X4 Land Rover through the African bush with your head and torso sticking out of the roof is fun as hell…not gonna lie it kinda felt like an amusement park ride, only slightly crazier and much more real…obviously. All the animals were amazing, the experience was literally unreal at times, I enjoyed each of the three different safari experiences (boat, car, and walking) in their own uniquely cool way, and was tremendously grateful of the opportunity in general to get away for a few days and camp in the African wilderness, but there’s really no other way for me to properly describe the intensity and fascination of it all…so I guess just trust me that it was absolutely ridiculous and wickedly cool in every way possible. Highlights: 1. walking up on a collective herd of zebra, giraffe, and impala while on our walking safari, and then watching them speed off into the forest when we got too close…like I said before, giraffes are the coolest animal alive…did you know that they have the same number of vertebrates in their necks as we do? Crazy. They’re also really funny to watch right when they take off running; for like the first 10 steps it honestly looks like they’re running in slow motion until out of nowhere everything finally clicks and they take off like Michael Johnson on speed. 2. Happening across four young simba cubs who had apparently lost their mother. too cute…although I’m sure they could have shown us their ugly side too. 3. parking literally right next to a full grown male lion and three females who were far too lazy to care about our cars as they had just finished an afternoon hunt and were sprawled out in satiated agony. Mack Daddy simba’s (let’s be honest, he was a pimp with three ladies at his disposal) belly honestly looked like it was going to explode; I could totally picture an entire antelope carcass inside that massive frame. He was so tired and lazy from the hunt and impending afternoon heat that he didn’t even get up to piss. Just tucked it back let er rip, all while lying down on his side and without moving an inch. sweet. 4. enjoying our sack lunch by the lake while a pack of elephants enjoyed theirs on the other side. 5. sleeping in tents in our river-side campsite that was chalk-full of hippos (meaning the river, not our campsite. although, I hope you can imagine how ridiculously close these hippos were at times…ah, too cool) and falling asleep to the sounds of their evening migration. 6. laughing and carelessly enjoying the company of some quality international friends while on safari vacation in Africa….priceless. Well, now that I’ve topped this post off with a little cheesy yet sentimental insight, I’d say it’s about time for some dinner. Wali maharaghe should suffice. I’ll hopefully have some time this weekend to ramble a bit more about my continuous African adventure (that will soon be over) as well as further elaborate on the confines and entrails of my engaged and engrossed (and slightly looney) mind. As for now, enjoy the post, do your best to avoid any confusion, keep on keeping on with whatever you keep to, and peace.